Sleep Wars
First of all, how do kids not know how absolutely wonderful sleep is?! Can't they feel the difference between a well-rested feeling and eyes-burning, dizzy, jittery exhaustion? Dummies.
Charlotte has always been a good sleeper. When she was in her crib we did the Ferber cry-it-out method a few times when needed and it worked within 2 days each time. Back in October we transitioned her to a toddler bed (twin mattress on the floor). With a baby on the way we needed the crib and wanted to leave plenty of time for Charlotte to get acclimated to a bed. She was only 22 months old so we weren't sure how it would go. We made a big deal about it and re-did her whole room, which is so adorable by the way. Charlotte loved her big-girl bed! She never got out of it in protest, just to play sometimes during naptime.
Then a perfect storm: holidays, traveling, two-year-old attitude, new baby, molars, and a bad cold. We were letting her in our bed more and more so we could all get sleep. Emilia was nursing every 1.5 hours so she ended up in our bed too. Plus the dog. It's only a queen sized bed people! We knew this had to stop.
Enter sleep training. I had been avoiding it but now we were out of excuses. Everyone swore by the Healthy Sleep Habits book aka the silent return-to-bed method. Basically when child gets out of bed, return her without emotion or talking. As many times as it takes. As MANY TIMES as it takes. How about a couple hundred in one night? Charlotte thought nothing of refusing to stay in bed and was up from 1:30 to 5 am one night. Everyone said it takes days or weeks. Meanwhile no one in the house was getting sleep. Sorry but I can't be a good mom on no sleep. Not only were we all miserable at night, but no fun was had during the day. This went on for a week. During that week, I cried every night.
We tried then to let her cry at the gate in her doorway. She was up again all night crying until she fell asleep for about 5 minutes on the floor. Emilia woke up to eat and woke Charlotte up and that was the end of that cat nap. We tried variations of everything including bribes, sticker rewards, lights and sounds, being stern etc.
It just wasn't working - and maybe it would have eventually but I just didn't feel in my gut that it was the right method for Charlotte. I know her. I know she wasn't quite comprehending it. I wasn't willing to persist. She had lost her voice, given up naps, and started to hate her big-girl room; a place she previously loved.
And here is what did finally work - at least last night (knock on wood and pray to Saint Whoever is in Charge of Sleep):
1. We moved her bed to by the door. When her head is on her pillow she can see out her door and into our room. She can see me with my head on my pillow.
2. Gate is left open. No more feeling trapped in.
3. Two teething tablets before bed.
4. I sit with her until she falls asleep the first time. Then I slept downstairs and Nick handled the mid-night wakings. When she woke up and came into the hallway, Nick told her to go back to her bed and (gasp!) she did! Three times! Maybe we turned a corner, maybe not. But we all got sleep last night. I will move back upstairs with Emilia and see what happens. I do think she responds better to Nick's requests so maybe he will have to sleep closest to the door.
Wish us luck!
Ps: here are pictures of us in various states of sleep during this ordeal. Note there are none of a sleeping mama! ;)
Charlotte has always been a good sleeper. When she was in her crib we did the Ferber cry-it-out method a few times when needed and it worked within 2 days each time. Back in October we transitioned her to a toddler bed (twin mattress on the floor). With a baby on the way we needed the crib and wanted to leave plenty of time for Charlotte to get acclimated to a bed. She was only 22 months old so we weren't sure how it would go. We made a big deal about it and re-did her whole room, which is so adorable by the way. Charlotte loved her big-girl bed! She never got out of it in protest, just to play sometimes during naptime.
Then a perfect storm: holidays, traveling, two-year-old attitude, new baby, molars, and a bad cold. We were letting her in our bed more and more so we could all get sleep. Emilia was nursing every 1.5 hours so she ended up in our bed too. Plus the dog. It's only a queen sized bed people! We knew this had to stop.
Enter sleep training. I had been avoiding it but now we were out of excuses. Everyone swore by the Healthy Sleep Habits book aka the silent return-to-bed method. Basically when child gets out of bed, return her without emotion or talking. As many times as it takes. As MANY TIMES as it takes. How about a couple hundred in one night? Charlotte thought nothing of refusing to stay in bed and was up from 1:30 to 5 am one night. Everyone said it takes days or weeks. Meanwhile no one in the house was getting sleep. Sorry but I can't be a good mom on no sleep. Not only were we all miserable at night, but no fun was had during the day. This went on for a week. During that week, I cried every night.
We tried then to let her cry at the gate in her doorway. She was up again all night crying until she fell asleep for about 5 minutes on the floor. Emilia woke up to eat and woke Charlotte up and that was the end of that cat nap. We tried variations of everything including bribes, sticker rewards, lights and sounds, being stern etc.
It just wasn't working - and maybe it would have eventually but I just didn't feel in my gut that it was the right method for Charlotte. I know her. I know she wasn't quite comprehending it. I wasn't willing to persist. She had lost her voice, given up naps, and started to hate her big-girl room; a place she previously loved.
And here is what did finally work - at least last night (knock on wood and pray to Saint Whoever is in Charge of Sleep):
1. We moved her bed to by the door. When her head is on her pillow she can see out her door and into our room. She can see me with my head on my pillow.
2. Gate is left open. No more feeling trapped in.
3. Two teething tablets before bed.
4. I sit with her until she falls asleep the first time. Then I slept downstairs and Nick handled the mid-night wakings. When she woke up and came into the hallway, Nick told her to go back to her bed and (gasp!) she did! Three times! Maybe we turned a corner, maybe not. But we all got sleep last night. I will move back upstairs with Emilia and see what happens. I do think she responds better to Nick's requests so maybe he will have to sleep closest to the door.
Wish us luck!
Ps: here are pictures of us in various states of sleep during this ordeal. Note there are none of a sleeping mama! ;)
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